REST WELL, MY LITTLE SUNSHINE,Girly♥
& so the loss isn't hitting me really hard right now, my only weakness is that i cant be alone in my room, or I'll feel so alone. So long I'm outside seeing humans or leaves of plants shaking, I'm fine.

"I keep you're soul in my heart, & I'll never be done loving you; sleep well my little sunshine, Girly. It's time you meet Samuel & Samantha,up in the heavens, they've been waiting patiently for you."

To all my friends, & bitches
thank you for coming down at the weirdest hours of the day, even reaching the vet before the owner did; my sisters; especially Jie. You guys are the reason why I'm coping so well, so don't worry so much yeah, i appreciate all the texts coming in, really.
& to think that Girly brought Joy to so many people's lives, hurts me even more. But she'll always be with us, our little sunshine.
& thank you to you; my sweetest little thing, last night really did cheer my up
cheers to many years of friendship.
xx

all my life i felt i needed a human beside me, i was dependent on Jay. But since i had you, i realise how much a dog can fit in to my life in whatever insecurities i needed when im alone, afraid, upset, or even sleeping in the dark. 4 years ago, i remembered daddy bringing home a box, and what i found inside it, was you. & i had my GCE O level chinese paper the next day, and i was so nervous about it, but that very night, you laid on my thighs; for the first time, i felt i was not alone in this world, i was not afraid of the open-air darkness at the back kitchen, i studied till morning, with my heart at ease.
I miss the smell of you paws; i wanna see you now, can it be 7 already?
i will go at the end of the earth for you, to make you feel my love
xxx

& so the doctor said she has jaundice, bladder & liver failure. Her eyeballs, skin & teeth are already very yellow. She gave me 2 options, either Girly goes through ultra-sound treatment, but if she cant take the shock that her fragile body has to endure, she might leave me soon enough; or i could leave her at the vet for 2 days and if she has no steady progress, she'll be put to sleep to end the suffering.
And i cant visit her now, but only at 7. why do I have this thinking she'll leave me without saying goodbye? My head is telling me things but my heart fails to understand. My brother ring me a moment ago saying that even if she has to go through ultra-shock, she'll feel so much pain, & whats the point of making her suffer? I know I have to let her go; but not so soon.
Girly, mommy wants to hold you in her arms as much as you want to feel mommy's love but please hold on, until i get there at least.
If you're listening up there, guide me today, for it is the first time in my life, I'm feeling so much pain.
xxx

so im sitting here, not knowing what to do waiting for the doctor to call me, deciding not to jump into any conclusions that might hurt myself any further. I know, its not that simple as being diagnosed with jaundice for the matter. She's on drips, hospitalized, and i have no idea how long with she be there; and how long she can live. If you so happen to read this, pray for my dog, Girly.
Cause ever since she stepped into my life, ive never felt lonely for the past 4 years. I've lived each day with Joy and Happiness. The last thing i ever want to lose is her;
cause im not done loving you, Girly.
xxx

ROSE; YOU PRECIOUS LITTLE FLOWER.

sometimes, all you need is someone to hold your hand, wipe those tears, knock some sense into you with driven insanity; support every single passion inside of you; tell only the truth without faking a smile, loving you,
you're my inspirational passionate angel.
It was you that made a difference in all aspects of my life.

Cause you'll never leave. iknow
xxx

First Love By Adele

So little to say
But so much time
Despite my empty mouth
The words are in my mind
Please wear the face
The one where you smile
Because you
Lighten up my heart
When I start to cry

Forgive me first love
But I'm tired
I need to get away
To feel again
Try to understand why
Don't get so close
To change my mind
Please wipe that look
Out of your eyes
It's bribing me
To doubt myself
Simply, it's tiring

This love has dried up
And stayed behind
And if I stay
I'll be alive
Then choke on words
I'd always hide
Excuse me first love
But we're through
I need to taste the kiss
From someone new

Forgive me first love
But I'm too tired
I'm bored to say
The least and I
Forgive me first love
Forgive me
Forgive me first love

There are some things, you still don't know;
we're gone forever.
xx

cheers to all the love in the world♥

see, until it all disappears.
it's just a matter of time.

xx